So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
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