I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
