I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
