he puts the penis in happiness.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
