That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
