You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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