last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Houston, we have a blender
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
