i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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