it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
