Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
