i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
