im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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