I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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