do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
