I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
