i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
