Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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