you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
