youre lurking in front of me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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