He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
