I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
