In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
