is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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