Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize