You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Congratulations! We have a period
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