Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
