Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
