Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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