dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
