So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
