matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
