i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
