The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
