Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
