well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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