New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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