i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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