I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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