Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
