i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
