I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
