thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
