Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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