Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
