I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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