If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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