sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's rum buckets o'clock
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
