Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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