Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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