There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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