Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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