Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
